One Month Anniversary

On December 4, 2019 at 12:37pm, this blog was born.

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I guess you could say I always had blogging aspirations but perhaps because of my retrograde Mercury and Mars, I never acted on them completely until now. The thing that many articles written on natal Mercury retrogrades do not mention is the feeling of your tongue being held hostage not only by you, but some unknown force. There have been numerous times throughout my life where I have wanted to give my opinion on matters but didn’t because I feared both attention and any backlash I may garner. This isn’t to say I have “edgy” or objectively abhorrent views—I’m actually pretty liberal/leftist. It’s more about being assertive, standing your ground, and putting yourself out there, things I am not comfortable with.

However, after graduating college back in May, I realized I needed to make money somewhere, somehow. I have been studying astrology on and off since I was 14 from the various books at my local libraries and whatever I happened to stumble upon online. During college I began to frequent astrology forums and Discord servers and started to interpret natal charts somewhat consistently. Because of that, some people became curious about paid readings. Of course, I was extremely hesitant at first and claimed “inexperience” for why I turned them down. But after college I seriously looked at my prospects and decided I had to take another the L and just do it.

I did my first paid reading in June of last year and have done 3 more since then. Before these paid readings I also did a small “practice” one to scope out how I would format readings going forward. I had did 2 other full-length unpaid ones years before this practice chart as well. Everyone really liked them to my surprise and have sung many praises!

Gaining some confidence, I decided I needed a Twitter to expand my reach as Discord astrology servers are a very small market. Although I still don’t know what I am doing on there, my logic was to attract and grow an audience and thus get more paid readings. But, of course, nothing happens overnight, and I haven’t gotten any paid readings out of it yet.

Then I decided I just needed a blog lol. Twitter is very limiting in how you can express yourself and it’s hard to make your voice heard in already established communities. Therefore, having a personal blog would, in theory, eliminate these issues as I would have a space all my own. And boy, what an emotional roller coaster that sent me into!

I have since recovered from that episode once my blog officially launched on December 16^th, but the 10 days between first making the blog and writing my first article were unbearable. However, I did not give up and now I’m celebrating my 1-month anniversary!

There is still a lot of lingering fear I have that occasionally bubbles up though. I am good enough? Will anyone even like my content? Will they think I’m some weeb/Koreaboo weirdo?

Should I just give up?

But since starting the blog lots of people in the Discord server I frequent have been very encouraging and supporting as have my angels apparently. I don’t remember if it was before or after I launched my site, but I’ve been seeing a lot of 444 and 4444 (2020 is a 4 universal year and, although 22 (my current age) should not be reduced, reduces to 4 as well), which are angel numbers telling me to keep working hard and not give up as they are helping me along the way. More recently they have been showing me 333, 33, and 3s in general, saying I should express myself, focus on my life’s purpose, and simply be happy.

Additionally, all of these tarot card videos I have been watching echo similar messages but emphasize that I am changing and evolving. Old patters are dying, and I am manifesting something new. I have been seeing 223 (or 233) lately and this number says that I am apparently on my life’s path. So, I guess despite my wavering feelings on keeping this blog, the universe is telling me that I am doing the right thing by running it.

And that helps. It really does because it’s so easy just to delete everything and disappear, but I am being given direct messages not to, to keep moving forward.

So, with that in mind…I’ll try my best to maintain this blog.